The Nonduality

Eban [Character 8.03]

Your story

You still can recall signing up to join the crew of The Nonduality. How young you were then, and how idealistic! You loved the idea of a utopian generation ship traveling into the great unknown to discover mysteries. You knew you wouldn’t be able to be physically present when the ship reached the Great Attractor. But you hoped that your virtual consciousness would get to experience that wonder.

Over the years, you've become increasingly disenchanted with the Founder and his principles, however. They sound good on paper, but the consensus process of making decisions takes forever, and by the time everyone agrees you often just wish that someone had dictated one way or the other because you’re tired of hearing everyone say the same things again and again.

Eshala was your spouse, and they were the bright light in your life. The two of you balanced each other incredibly well. They were always full of vibrant energy and a desire to try new things. You truly can't believe you will never hold them in your arms again.

....And you absolutely do not want them to be stuck in some sort of merged-consciousness afterlife. You think they would hate that! They had such strong passions, such clear drive. You can't imagine that being diluted in with everyone else. They're a bright spark in the world, and you need that spark to be separate.

And to be honest: you want to be able to stay separate too. You need time to be alone, to rest and reset with your thoughts. How on earth could you possibly do that if there were dozens of other people in your head? Merged consciousness sounds terrifying to you. How would everyone react if they really know what you were thinking? How would Eshala feel about you if she could see every last little thought, even the less charitable ones?

So for those reasons you think the factory reset is the right option. Your only reticence is around Source. You think it’s completely immoral to destroy another sentient being. The only other option then is to try to differentiate Source. It's not ideal and you know it. They’ll be split into many fragmented, confused, and possibly unhappy pieces. You would really miss Source if that happened, they've been an omnipresent source of calm for you and everyone on the ship. But still, a fragmented existence is better than none at all. You think that’s what Source meant by their final words, "Let Go." It’s your attachment to them that you must let go of.